The doubt – can I actually do this..??

It’s been with me since I can remember. Accompanying every major decision I ever made, from choosing university, getting married, to deciding if I’m ready for a baby. The doubt. Am I ready? Can I do this? Is this the right choice or a mistake? Will I fail, and if I do, can I survive the failure?

I don’t really mind this doubt. In all honesty, I have learnt to ignore it most of the time. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have taken the step into any big change in my life. But this coming challenge has given me the biggest doubt to date.

I love food. Food shopping, food cooking, food eating. And I love entertaining.  Nothing gets me as excited as planning a dinner party. For years now I’ve been wondering if there is any chance I could make a living from combining these passions.  But life took me on a different journey. I studied tourism, got a summer job at a marketing company, moved to London and joined a big media agency, which turned into a 6 years career in online marketing. Then I became a mum, and everything I knew about myself shifted.  I no longer cared about promotions, recognition, the next project. But at the same time I didn’t want my life to be all about nappies and baby talk. I have huge admiration for full time mums, but I felt that I was drowning under the ever growing nappy pile. And I realised that what I really want my son to have, is a fulfilled mummy , who didn’t compromise on her dreams. And the dream was to put food to work.

I am also extremely lucky to have a husband who gives me not only moral support, in all my endeavours, but also, since  I went on maternity leave, financial support . And when time came for my maternity leave to finish, and for decisions to be made regarding my job situation, D encouraged me to do the unthinkable, leave the comfortable career in media, and try my strength in professional catering.

So here I am. About to embark on one of the biggest journeys to date. A journey to start my own catering business, from the security of my kitchen. I’m as always filled with doubt and fear. Will I be good enough? Will people like my food? Will I get orders and deliver to expectations? But I am also filled with  amazing excitement and anticipation. I am finally doing this! I am making food my work. I might fail, but ohh, how I can’t wait to give it a go!